The Simpsons: Road Rage

 I can't believe it's taken so long.

I've covered such a wide range of games and touched so many different franchises over the past two plus years. My reviews have spanned a wide range of IPs, from popular to obscure. I've covered series' I'm passionate about, ambivalent towards and even ones I dislike. And yet, this is the first time I've ever touched "The Simpsons."

I've talked at length about how video game series' like Final Fantasy and Mega Man have impacted my life. But I'm not sure any media franchise has made the impact on me The Simpsons have. Anyone who knows me knows The Simpsons are kind of my thing. Those other franchises may define my taste in media. But the Simpsons have defined pretty much my entire personality, much to the chagrin of some. Oh what, you thought I was personable or I had a good sense of humor? Not really, pretty much anything I've ever said that made someone laugh is just a recycled Simpsons joke or reference.

It's not like there's a lack of these games either. There have been Simpsons games dating back as far as the NES, with many a gamer growing up on Bart vs. The World or Bart vs. The Space Mutants. Anyone who spent time in an arcade during the 90s surely would recognize the Simpsons Arcade Game, one of the genre defining beat em' ups of its day. It's actually one of the better licensed games of all time. At the end of the day, that really is what these are, licensed tie ins. But it's always amazed me how vastly the quality of all the Simpsons video games varies over the years. Some are actually outstanding games, while others are more along the lines of what you would expect from licensed cash grabs, while others still scrape the bottom of the barrel of the entire gaming industry.

Unfortunately, The Simpsons: Road Rage fits pretty squarely into the middle category. It's very clear that the primary goal here was to make money, not be funny. Or provide a good gameplay experience for that matter. Don't get me wrong, SRR isn't bad and it's certainly not the worst Simpsons title out there, but there really is no reason to go back and play it today. It's lazy in trying to recreate the humor of the show, though I find the source material funny enough that it still made me laugh. There are definitely games that use the license better, though there are certainly ones that do it worse as well.

Gameplay is simple enough. You choose one of Springfield's many quirky residents, each with an appropriate vehicle, and drive around the city while a timer ticks down. Along the way, you will stop to pick up other Springfieldianites, each of whom will ask you to take them to a specific location in an allotted time. Getting there within that time will earn you points, money and a few extra seconds, but missing it will result in losing a customer and wasting your time. Sound familiar? Sounds a lot like Crazy Taxi. Well, I can tell you it's not a lot like Crazy Taxi...it literally is Crazy Taxi with a Simpsony coat of paint. But all the paint in the world didn't fool Sega. They sued developer Radical Entertainment and publisher EA for patent infringement, which is not at all surprising. The case was eventually settled out of court, likely due to the crack representation of one Lionel Hutz, attorney at law.

Unlike Crazy Taxi, which has tight responsive controls, SRR has loose and floaty ones. You never really feel like you have control over where you are going or how fast you are going there. The steering is especially off, I can't really describe it well but it feels like the kind of controls you would deal with in a driving section of a non-driving game. That's craptacular. The camera is jerky and you are always clipping in and out of objects. I got stuck in buildings more than I ever should have in a game that came out in this time period. The hit detection is absolutely horrible and it's also incredibly unfair. There are some levels that will require you to run into certain objects and these are damn near impossible. But if you go anywhere near another car, it's almost as if your vehicle magnetizes to it. Cars with magnets on the front? Sounds like something they came up with in Shelbyville. It's extremely frustrating and it makes the objective based levels not worth your time. 

Graphically, the game looks terrible. It's a 6th gen game, having come out on the PS2, XBox and Gamecube. But it looks like it came from the previous generation, especially when you look at the character movement. They are all so stiff and awkward. The colors also look really washed out and the textures are all bland and lifeless. Bad graphics usually goes hand in hand with bad sound, but that wasn't the case here. The sound is actually quite good and the characters actually sound like themselves. It just goes to demonstrate, you can replace the actors on the show and no one will notice. Some of the one liners they drop are hilarious, although you can tell this wasn't their best material. 

I will say they at leas tried to make it feel like the show. All the big landmarks are there, from the Simpson family home to the Springfield Retirement Castle to the Kwik-E Mart. It kind of stinks you can't go inside too many of them, but at least they're there. I found it especially hilarious that they thought to include random on-off stuff, like Truckasaurus. The cast of characters includes the Simpsons family (obviously) with others unlocked as you go. There are quite a few characters and vehicles to unlock, including Groundskeeper Willy on a tractor and Reverend Lovejoy in the Book Burning-mobile. It's a surprisingly strong collection, though none of the characters really play any different and it's kind of a shame. Would it be that hard to make the vehicles unique? Marge drives the Canyonero, shouldn't she be able to pick up 35 passengers at once and take up both lanes of traffic? Maybe that would have been a little much.

The game does have its positives. For one, it's really fun in short to medium bursts and it's great if you just need something to do for a few minutes. Some of the dialogue is pretty funny. No one is going to confuse this with the writing from the golden age episodes, but it still manages to capture at least some of that Simpsons charm. It always gets me when Homer says "Here's your tip...stay in school" after a successful drop-off and Ralph getting super excited when he finally gets the whole "3..2..1..go!" thing correct is great. If you're a Simpsons fan, you will find a t least something to like here. It's also worth noting that at the time, we were coming off a string of really bad (and I mean REALLY bad) Simpsons games. Maybe I will play those later, but I hope not. It was great to finally see a competent game featuring the IP, even if it wasn't the best.

But again, that's "competent," at its best. The controls work and the humor is ok (woo hoo!), but the game is poorly designed and its very clearly an inferior ripoff of a more recognizable title (d'oh). I guess the best way to describe The Simpsons: Road Rage is that it's a perfectly cromulent game, far from the worst game ever. However, it's clear that its creators were more concerned with embigenning their bank accounts than creating a fun experience. Which is a bit of a shame, because fun games are fun. At any rate, I best stop before EA releases the hounds on me.

4.75/10  (d'oh x2)