Guys, I think I did it. I've accomplished what I set out to do. I found the perfect video game. More specifically, I found the perfect video game console.
Is it from Nintendo? Atari? Sega? Sony? Microsoft? No, this piece of gaming genius comes to us from Leap Frog, a company more known for their educational titles. But this time, they went above and beyond in creating what I think we can definitively say is the single greatest console ever released, the Zippity. Now I have to admit, I am a little light on information when it comes to where this thing came from. A quick web search about this definitive console will turn up...not much.
I can't, for the life of me, determine when this thing actually came out, though most of the reviews I see are from about 10 years ago. The closest thing I can find on it in any official capacity from Leap Frog is a parents guide, buried deep on their website and on page 3 of the search results. Great job with SEO you guys! I myself found this gem via one of those online garage sale sites, and my decision to purchase it had nothing to do with my son monopolizing my other gaming consoles during the day. The Zippity certainly wasn't designed for children, it's games are far too deep and complex, so why would I buy such a thing for a 4-year old anyway? At any rate, I'm glad I did, because I don't think I've been as inspired by a piece of gaming hardware since, well, ever.Let's start with the design. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before. The Zippity is so sleek and elegant, more akin to a high end luxury car than a video game console. It's blue green color palette with random orange and purple undertones really leads to that high end, top of the line console look that all hardware creators should strive for. As a whole it just looks great and totally not like someone jammed a pogo stick through a DDR mat and added copious amounts of Disney branding.
Oh yeah, this is where I should mention, the Zippity is all Disney, all the time. We all love Disney, right? The more Disney the merrier? I'm sure those of you that don't have children long for the day when you can watch "Cars" or "Toy Story" for the 33rd time that week, because some movies you can literally watch constantly without losing your sanity. Besides, you won't find those IPs here, at least not with the included games. That's right, unlike inferior consoles like the Switch, PS5 and Xbox Series 1, there are included games on the Zippity. These aren't just throwaway games either. We're talking top flight stuff like Goofy's Fancy Dancing, Handy Manny Fix it Up and the new greatest game of all time, Mickey Says. Remember, this is a Disney centric universe, we must always do what Mickey says, at least if we know what's good for us.
All of these games feature precision, pinpoint accurate controls through use of the mat and large joystick, which Leap Frog has ingeniously dubbed the "bopper." You follow prompts on the screen a stomp the appropriate space or move the bopper accordingly to do everything from saw wood to mimic dance moves to make a bunch of tools play music. I never once had a problem getting the characters do what I wanted and it was absolutely not a constant struggle to get simple commands to enter. My son didn't have that problem either, which is astounding since this thing is most certainly targeted at adults. I could go on for hours about all these games, each of which offer compelling plots, unique characters, more than five minutes of gameplay and the uncanny ability to keep the attention of both an experienced gamer and a 4-year old child.
And that's just the included games. There are a grand total of four, count em', four games for the system, none of which I could acquire but all of which I'm sure are outstanding. The console itself even has a handy tray to place these cartridges in. Does your PlayStation have that? Yeah, I didn't think so. I can't speak to these games exactly, as I've never played them, but I think its safe to say that each of them are masterpieces. I mean, every single one of them was an instant, all time classic. Games like Final Fantasy VII, Super Mario World and Metal Gear Solid, all of which I now consider to be digital trash after experiencing the Zippity, can't hold a candle to stuff like Toolbox Beat.
And here's the best part...you don't even need to plug it into the wall. There's no power supply here, the Zippity runs entirely on simple, common, easy to find C batteries. It only requires eight of these very affordable batteries and they last seemingly forever. Which is good because you aren't going to want to cut your playthroughs short. Remember, these are some epic games and you aren't going to want to let go of the bopper for a second. I mean, it begs the question; why would you even want a system that plugs into a wall to begin with? I mean, seriously Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo, get with the times. The Zippity offers all the positives of battery powered handheld systems while also offering the home console convenience of having to be plugged into a television.
I really don't think there's anything else to be said. This is it, this is proof that perfection is possible. I don't understand why you would ever play anything else. Between all the included games, plust phenomenal carts like Cars and The Princess and the Frog, the Zippity is the single greatest thing to ever happen to gaming. And if you don't think so, your opinion is wrong. You owe it to yourself to go buy one of these things immediately. Don't even look at what day it is, just go get it now. I may as well just stop trying to seek out hidden gems, I've stumbled upon a diamond mine.
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