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Predator

I am having too much fun with these 80's action movie games, so let's keep going with those. We're leaving Stallone and the jungles of Vietnam behind, but we're going to keep the bullets flying with Schwarzenegger in the jungles of South America.

Originally panned by most critics upon release, Predator has become a big-time sci-fi cult classic. The film tells the story of Alan "Dutch" Schaefer and his squad, sent on a CIA mission to rescue hostages from an unspecified South American nation. They defeat the guerillas, only to encounter something far worse: an invisible alien creature called the Predator, hell bent on taking them out one by one. This was Arnold Schwarzenegger at his cheesy 80's best, supported by Carl Weathers, Jesse "The Body" Ventura and a pretty solid cast. I wonder how many other movies starred two future governors?  The film became known for its gratuitous violence and gore, not to mention the iconic Arnold one liners. The Predator itself has become an iconic movie monster, even getting its own spinoff where it battled the Xenomorph from Alien. There were sequels, comic books, novels and, of course, video games. There were a few Predator titles, but today we will be discussing the 1987 NES game. It was developed by Pack-In Games, the same developer as Rambo, though it was published by Actvision. Rambo had some good, some bad, so maybe Predator improved upon it? Maybe it was even worse, a truly abysmal mess that warrants discussion for no other reason that its sheer awfulness? No, I think it's right down the middle again. But unlike the Rambo, that gets a lot of things kind of right and a lot of things a little wrong, Predator gets some things really right and gets some really, really wrong. It definitely went the more traditional "slap a movie license on a platformer" route, and that helped it in some ways. But it was also way less original and experimental while also dropping the ball a little bit on the basics. I had some fun with it, but I don't think it was strong enough to warrant a second playthrough and it had some really frustrating moments.


First, we will start with the positives, there are two things that Predator does as well or better than any NES game. First, there's the pre-game presentation. The cutscenes that play before you hit start introduce the plot of the movie and they look about as good as 3rd generation graphics can. The faux-3D models of Arnold and the Predator look awesome, they are legitimately impressive for this era. The game really sets the tone and makes you really feel like you are about to play something awesome. The in game cutscenes aren't as impressive, but they are still pretty good and they help move the story of the film along. As for the gameplay...we'll get back to that later. Because the other major positive here comes from the sound. I don't know what it is about it, but I love the soundtrack in Predator. It has this weird, ominous vibe that really fits with the vibe of being stalked by a vicious monster. That's not really the way the game is, but the soundtrack gives that feeling. It has this heavy hitting, synth-y, impactful vibe that kind of reminds me of a late 00's/early '10s techno song with heavier bass. It also has its share of upbeat tracks as well. It's one of those games where the music hooked me immediately, this was one of the games that came with my NES and I will always remember being instantly drawn to the title screen theme. I don't know if it's a top 10 NES soundtrack, but its definitely top 15 or 20.

Unfortunately, there is also a game to play here. On it's surface, the gameplay is pretty simple. A jumps, B shoots, as it is, was and always should be. You move from left to right, punching or shooting enemies and jumping over platforms. You have a life bar and can take quite a few hits, but most of your deaths are going to come from falling down pits so that rarely matters. I do have to give them credit for having levels with multiple vertical screens, this adds some variety and leads to some unique challenges. The game even has the courtesy to tell you when you can go down without dying and when you can't. The jumping takes some time to get used to, but the bigger issue is how small some of the platforms are. Predator loves to throw platforms at you that need to be landed on perfectly. You have a handful of different weapons, you start with your fist and can acquire a machine gun, laser gun or grenades, and you can only hold one at a time. Grenades will sometimes be required, as they can be used to break blocks, but they are otherwise a pretty lousy weapon. The guns work well enough, but the problem is you lose them whenever you complete a level. Your fists are your primary weapon and are similarly lousy. You can't punch while ducking, which is a major problem because most of the enemies are on the ground.

Speaking of the enemies, what the heck are all they supposed to be? I get the soldiers, those are supposed to be the guerillas from the movie. But I don't remember there being Metroids in Predator. I certainly don't remember walking rocks, skeleton bats, or big blue blobs with masks that look like Shyguys who have spent too much time at the buffet. And isn't there only one Predator? He appears as a boss here every few levels. I guess it's representative of him showing up every so often to attack before running away, but why is he so easy? All you have to do is stand in the right spot and fire and he won't ever attack you. It's kind of disappointing, the Predator is supposed to be pretty strong and he's relegated to an afterthought here. I will say the enemy placement is okay, it's a little cheap at times but does add a bit to the challenge. The hit detection with the fist is wonky, but the guns and grenades are solid and the enemy hitboxes are relatively fair.

While the enemies are odd, they are often the least of your worries. The stage layouts can be problematic and while they are sometimes okay in theory, the weird design decisions make some of them downright sadistic. There are many, many places where you can walk through what look like walls, often leading to your death. The game attempts to use shading to differentiate what you can stand on and what you can't, but it doesn't do a very good job. I lost many lives jumping to what I thought were platforms, only to fall to my doom. Even worse, there are sections that look almost exactly like the regular ground that turn out to be deathtraps instead. This is probably the most frustrating part of Predator, I think if these things were ironed out a lot of the other issues wouldn't feel as big.

Which reminds me, we have to talk about big mode. Every few levels, you will have to play an auto-scrolling shooting level. The game calls this "big mode," I guess because Arnold's sprite is a lot bigger and more detailed. I would venture to guess that the name was thrown out there for test builds and the developers just never bothered to change it. In all seriousness though, your character looks way better here and these levels offer a nice change of pace. It's a little weird that the only enemies you encounter are bubbles, but big mode offers a decent challenge and is far less frustrating than the normal side-scrolling sections. Maybe it's just a sense of relief I got playing these, they serve as checkpoints to continue from if you lose all of your lives, but I found them to be not so bad. It's a little weird, but not bad.

Really, weird is the operative word here. The bones are there for a good, solid action game, but a bevy of bizarre design decisions sink it. Why is Arnold wearing pink? Why can you walk through the wall? Why am I shooting at an obese Shyguy? Why is there a self-destruct button (I forgot to mention, if you press A or B while the game is paused, you die)? Why are there so many false pits that look like they are safe to walk on? It just goes on and on with stuff like that and it puts a serious damper on what otherwise would have been a pretty good experience. Even with all of that weirdness, I still felt compelled to keep playing and it always felt like I did better and better each time I died. Comparing it once again to Rambo, it's a bit less experimental and not quite as tight gameplay wise. But I think it was a bit more of an enjoyable experience. Maybe it's just that it was a little closer to what I was expecting. Maybe it was nostalgia, or my affinity for the soundtrack (it's amazing how good music can pull you through a bad game). Pound for pound, Sly is a better actor than Arnie, one-liners notwithstanding. Not really a movie person, but 80's action flicks are in my wheelhouse and if I had to choose, I would probably watch Rambo over Predator. But video game-wise, I have to give the edge to the governator.

5.25/10

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