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Why I Never Became a PC Gamer

 It's time to talk about something I've been meaning to address for a little while now. It's to the point where I have been at this for almost five years now and I've never addressed it. I think it's important because I feel like understanding the background of a game reviewer is important for getting the most out of their reviews.

For whatever reason, I've never fully gotten into PC gaming, to the point that I almost considered not including computer games in the scope of my reviews. I ultimately decided against it, because I do have a handful of PC games I consider to be among my all-time favorites. Even then, many of those games I ended up playing on console despite the fact those versions were inferior. Deus Ex and Doom are both 10s for me and I spent as much time with the console versions of those games as I did the PC versions. For reasons I will get into, it was either that or nothing. I also consider Heros of Might and Magic III and Might and Magic VI among my 10s and for those, there was no console alternative. Even beyond the 10s, I had a few PC titles that were part of my experience growing up, including Duke Nukem 3D, Age of Empires, Civilization and StarCraft. I had some experience with games like X-Wing and TIE Fighter, plenty of time spent on weird edu-tainment titles and my share of weird console to PC ports, including Sonic CD and Virtua Fighter. But that barely scratches the surface of what was on offer on PC. I am going to make myself sound like a complete moron, more so than usual, when I talk about this kind of stuff because honestly, I just straight up don't know very much about PC gaming, hardware, software, operating systems, or, well, anything else. I would consider the era where I started to game to be the late DOS/early Windows era, but I'm sure some PC expert out there will tell me that's not even a thing. MS DOS was still the primary way that most games were played, but Windows was quickly taking over, so that's what I am going to call it. I know for a fact that the first computer my family ever owned ran DOS.


Ah, yes, it's time to talk about the first gaming machine we ever had in my house. You know, I've always kind of said it was the secondhand NES I got from my cousin, but that's not entirely true. Being the console-centric gamer I am, I kind of always said that because it was, in fact, the first video game console I ever owned. But it wasn't the first gaming machine. Because before that NES, there was our old, out of date Tandy 1000. Ah, yes, now it's all coming back to me. It could only display a few colors and it took floppy disks. Not the little, hard plastic ones from the late 90's, I'm talking about the actually floppy ones. We had tons of games for this thing, I remember them being like five for a dollar at the supermarket or something like that. Of course, only about half of them ever actually worked, but that was half the fun! Anyway, I only really remember two games from it, the first was a one screen puzzle kind of game where you had to guide a snake through a bunch of ladders while avoiding nails, its title is escaping me. The other was Type Trek, a Star Trek themed typing game where you had to destroy Klingons by correctly following a typing prompt. That right there was my earliest experience with video games.

That computer gave way to an Aptiva PC in the mid 90's. For those that don't remember, Aptiva was IBM's attempt to create an entry level PC for computer novices. That absolutely described my parents, they had always been relatively late adopters of technology. We were the last family in town to have DSL, the last family in town to have a DVD player, you get the idea. Watching my aunt spend what she did on a Beta Max probably spooked them. Anyway, that computer came with tons of software, including a handful of games. I spent more time than I care to admit playing edu-tainment titles Hyperman and Undersea Adventure. I put countless hours into rudimentary animation/graphics editor Magic Theatre. I tried, in vain, to beat Silent Steel, an interactive movie/point and click/choose your own adventure game about a submarine crew (that came on five discs). My family eventually subscribed to PC Gamer and I played just about everything on every single one of the demo discs that came with each issue. But the first real, true, honest to God video game that got installed on our PC was Doom. I have already talked at length about how great I think Doom is and that love affair started all the way back then. But it was more than just the big stuff. I always managed, some way, somehow, to find random games that I had no idea were even installed. I remember we got one of those Gravis controllers and after we finally got it set up, there were just randomly games that came with it. Again, I don't remember the name, but I specifically remember a 1 on 1 fighter about robotic animals with hand drawn 2D graphics. Also, something called FX Fighter? I Think?

Anyway, with all that nostalgia you would think I would have been all in on PC gaming. But it just never caught on for me. Recently I've started to kind of wonder why, and I've come to the conclusion that it was a variety of factors. The biggest? I just prefer a controller to a keyboard and mouse. It's that simple. I know in a lot of situations; the keyboard and mouse are just objectively better. But it just doesn't do it for me. I have always found it constricting to play RPGs on a PC, even ones designed for the platform. As such, I kind of skipped over Fallout, Diablo, Baldur's Gate and a number of other franchises that I feel like I would enjoy. It's not that I haven't tried to play those games, but I just find it hard to get into them without a controller. I am sure there are more modern versions of these things that have controller support, so maybe I will have to go back and check some of those out. But even then, I'm basically stuck using an XBox controller, which I'm not a fan of. Yes, I know you can download drivers to use a PlayStation controller but doing that has never really gone well for me or any of my computers. At least it's easier to set up a controller now, setting up that aforementioned Gravis controller was an all-day affair. As for other genres, I would never dream of playing them without a controller, especially a fighting game. I will concede that both first person shooters and real time strategy games are much better on a PC control setup. But I am so used to the controller that I would rather use that for an FPS, even if it's not ideal. I've also never really liked RTS games. So, that's kind of a simple reason and kind of a stupid one, but it's a big factor in why I've never been able to enjoy PC games to the fullest.

Another big issue, and it's not really something most of us like to talk about, is money. Simply put, PC gaming is expensive and it always has been. We weren't poor growing up, but we were also far from rich. We got every ounce of use we could out of that Aptiva PC, but it quickly fell behind when it came to software. It got to the point where it simply couldn't run new games anymore and it got to that point quickly. But we weren't the kind of family that could just get a new computer. I distinctly remember all of us giving up our Christmas presents in '02 or '03 to get a new PC for the family, that was the only way a new computer was going to happen for us. And, for various reasons, we all needed, or at least wanted, it. Sure, our old computer barely being able to open MS Word was hindering my ability to do homework, but we all know the real reason I was down with the plan was because I wanted to play new video games. I started with Doom and Duke Nukem and Might and Magic VI, but by 2002 I was...still playing those games because our PC couldn't run anything newer. Now as an adult, I still don't make enough to justify spending what's needed on a gaming PC. Even compared to a new gaming console, top end or even mid-level gaming PCs are just ridiculous and they seem to have to be upgraded far too often. Maybe it's not as bad, because the technological leaps weren't as great as they used to be? I don't know, but PC gaming has always felt like more of a money sink than console gaming, though stuff like Gog.com and Steam help for those of us looking to play old school games.

Finally, I'm just not good enough with computers to really get the most out of the benefits they bring to gaming. I always hear PC gamers talk about the latest mod, or a different way to do their settings for an ideal experience. I just don't feel comfortable doing that stuff on any more than a basic level. It took me until this year to install the Horn of the Abyss mod on Heroes III and it took me almost an hour because I was so paranoid I was going to screw something up. Forget anything that involves editing files or anything like that, it's way too much pressure. The thing is, these are some of the coolest things about PC gaming. I've always been jealous that this kind of stuff is possible. Even back in the day, I remember being upset that I didn't have the means or skill to install the Barney Doom mod (for those unfamiliar, it's exactly what it sounds like). I guess now this stuff is possible on consoles as well, I remember seeing all these weird ones for the Resident Evil 2 Remake. Stuff like making Claire heavier or replacing Mr. X with Thomas the Tank Engine may not do anything gameplay wise, but I guess its cool that you can do it. Those are probably bad examples, because there are tons of patches that are easily accessible on PC that do more relevant stuff, I just don't have the skill or knowledge to install them.

At the end of the day, I wish I was able to get more into PC gaming. Then again, it's never too late to start. I've been saying for a while I wanted to review more PC games and I've finally started playing through some. The list of old school computer games out there is absolutely staggering, it puts even the biggest console library to shame, so I have a few going at once. Of course, I'm looking at more old school stuff, but I might look at some newer things as well. Who knows, maybe I will start going way, way back, though I'm not sure how I would review something like a text-based game (Zork? What is Zork?). Either way, I am excited to start this journey into what are, for me, uncharted waters. I wish I had started sooner, but I guess now is better than never.

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